Can I roll Sense Motive on the cookies?

We don’t trust our DM anymore. (via outofcontextdnd)
shrek one: bad
shrek two: the funniest movie i have ever seen. literally one of the funniest comedies of all time. incredible pacing and dialogue. reference jokes that were actually funny. surreal world that was so modern fantasy it actually worked. rocking score. awesome scene set to "i need a hero" being sung by the villain unironically and completely played straight. a bar of villains. just overall the best concepts ever.
shrek three: bad
shrek four: bad

foxhex:

liza-land:

how I wear art is none of your business

"The difference between people with tattoos and people without tattoos is that people with tattoos don’t give a shit if you don’t have any."

(Source: soilesusanna, via myy-sparrow-blue)

IT”S A….bridge.

outofcontextdnd:

In an underground cave after experiencing various traps in a mansion, and a illusion door behind a waterfall:

Cleric: “I cast detect evil on the bridge.”

Me (Co-DM): “It’s a bridge.”

After defeating a weird ghost in a Macy’s

outofcontextdnd:

GM: The spirit explodes, splattering the janitor and immediate area with the mysterious substance.

Me (Janitor): Worth it.

GM: The puddles of mysterious substance throughout the store spontaneously combusts.

Me: I would like to retract my earlier statement.

Seeing what tricks my new pet knows during my first session

outofcontextdnd:

Me: Roll over.

GM: The hedgehog rolls over. It’s adorable.

Me: Stay.

GM: You take a few steps away. The hedgehog remains where it is.

Me: Heel.

GM: The hedgehog heals you for 5 HP.

Me: Holy shit.

Busted…

outofcontextdnd:

Villain: So what are you guys doing here in our house?

Ardent: We’re not really here to talk…

Swordsman: We’re here to PAAAAARRRRTTTTYYYY!

Wizard: *pulls strobe lights out of his robes*

*Starships by Nicki Minaj starts playing*

bromancing-the-stone:

cishetofficial:

for every 50 notes this gets i’ll read a chapter of this book: 

image

What a horrible way to die.

(Source: yunishinoya, via myy-sparrow-blue)

historical-nonfiction:

The venus flytrap, though usually pictured in an exotic tropical jungle, is actually native to a 75-mile radius around Wilmington, North Carolina.

historical-nonfiction:

The venus flytrap, though usually pictured in an exotic tropical jungle, is actually native to a 75-mile radius around Wilmington, North Carolina.

historical-nonfiction:

This is the now-extinct American Lion. She had a large range — Europe, Africa, Asia, North America, and northern South America. She hunted large mammals including bison and horses, so it was good she was 25% larger than the African Lion. Unfortunately the American Lion’s only predator — us humans of course — helped her into extinction by about 13,000 years ago.

historical-nonfiction:

This is the now-extinct American Lion. She had a large range — Europe, Africa, Asia, North America, and northern South America. She hunted large mammals including bison and horses, so it was good she was 25% larger than the African Lion. Unfortunately the American Lion’s only predator — us humans of course — helped her into extinction by about 13,000 years ago.